As a woman who is forever transitioning – going from bald to fro to braids to weave and back again – talking about black women hair issues never gets old. My good friend, Bibi, owner of OmgIloveyourhair.com wrote a great piece on her first time hot-combing her hair and the beautiful conclusions she’s come to in the years since. Check out an excerpt after the click.
From Bibi:
The next day at school, I showed up thinking that I was the cat’s meow until my friend, the girl whom I was always with made a comment which I never forgot.
“Girl, you hair looks good but you can’t be looking like Pocahontas on top and Whoopi Goldberg at the roots.”
*crickets*
At the time, my feelings were hurt but now I can laugh a good belly laugh when I think back to that comment. At that point in my life, I was young, listened to the peanut gallery and my sense of self was intrinsically linked to what other people thought about me.
Now that I’m more “seasoned,” I can dissect that comment and how it portrays the differences in asthetics and beauty of black women’s hair and what was/is seen as acceptable and attractive in mainstream society.
Since then I have learned the following:
1. I am not my hair. Yes, my hair is longer now and naturals are embraced more in today’s mainstream society but if I decide to shave my head and go bald, I am okay. I define what is beautiful and appropriate for me and the stuff that grows out of my head.
2. Cater to your spirit, turn the peanut gallery off. When we’re younger, our self esteem is in a volatile state, we want to be like everyone else, we don’t want to be different. We want to be included in the group and being left out hurts. But as you grow you learn that the people that rock with you whether you have Pocahontas flowing hair or Whoopi Goldberg roots, are there because the respect, acceptance and love is unconditional.
To read the other two learnings plus the piece in its entirety, click here.
