Wedding day prep can be a whirlwind. Aso ebi, jewelry, locations, photographer, wedding dress, grooms tux, flowers, food, cake, everything! The big day is a big deal, but what about what happens next? The actual marriage? Check out 7 Truths About Marriage, from Frank Powell, after the jump.
Log on to Facebook and 9 times out of 10, you’ll probably come across a wedding related pic from your friend. Whether someone just got engaged and posted their proposal pic, or walked down this past weekend and posted pics from the ceremony, weddings and marriage related things seem to be everywhere.
While we’re all for celebrating one of life’s biggest decisions – deciding who you will spend the rest of your life with – there are some things about marriage you just don’t learn till after the big day. Enter Frank Powell’s piece on marriage truths.
A few of my friends have forwarded me this article and we’ve been discussing it in detail. It’s especially interesting because – though many of us get our marriage directives from our faith – we don’t really hear alot about marriage expectations and lessons from the Pastor or pulpit. Sure you might get that “Wives, submit yourselves to your husband” and “husbands, love your wives” stuff but when you decide to spend 50+ years with someone, you hope to have a little more direction (or warning lol) than that.
Check out excerpts from the article for a little bit of marriage wisdom:
I am grateful for the foundation the church gave me in regards to marriage. It was a good study guide. But there some things on the test I did not learn until marriage began. So, I am going to give you some answers to the test that some of you might not expect to see. I grew up in church. I spent most of my time with Christian people. I was told much about marriage. But these 7 truths about marriage I never heard in church.
1.) Sex is a gift from God. Explore It.
It is time for God’s people to take back the gift of sex. The lies surrounding it are ruining lives and ruining marriages. If you are married, let me challenge you to explore sex. Explore the fullness of it for the glory of God. Pray for sexual intimacy with your spouse.
2.) There is more than one person out there for you.
I meet too many young people that are waiting for something that is not real. “I just couldn’t marry her because she smacked her food.” “He just wasn’t the one…he had this weird twitch when he smiled. But I know my soul mate is still out there. I just have to keep looking.”
Or you might have just missed him or her.
What if God does not want you to find a perfect person, but find an imperfect person that will draw you closer to Him? What if God desires you to marry a person with flaws to expose yours? What if God wants to teach you the value and life found in committing to one person forever, not the exhausting pursuit of searching your entire life to find the perfect person?
Soul mates are made…not born.
3.) The first year of marriage is hard…really hard.
What have we done? Are we going to make it? Why is this so hard? All questions I asked myself many times during my first year of marriage. We were arguing. We were fighting. It was really hard. And every day I thought something was wrong. I thought we had a bad marriage. Nobody warned me about the first year. But take this as a warning…the first year of marriage is difficult. If you are in the first year of marriage and thinking about giving up…congratulations. You are now…married!
4.) A spouse does not complete you
I hate you Jerry Maguire. You have brainwashed a generation of people to believe a lie. Spouses do not complete people. I bought this lie, and it wasn’t until I let go of any notion my wife could fill some void that I was able to truly love her. Until then, I was always frustrated. I expected Tiffani to do something she was incapable of doing.
If you are empty, broken, or insecure, and you believe a spouse is the silver bullet to your problems…buckle up. It will be a bumpy ride. Only God can fill those voids. You will never be able to enjoy the beauty of marriage if your spouse’s job is to complete you.
5.) Marry somebody with similar goals, dreams, and passions.
Marry somebody that is a Christian, yes. But I would go even further. Marry somebody with similar passions and dreams. Now, I understand this breaks down at some point. People are not machines. No two people are going to want exactly the same thing in life. However, if you love foreign missions and your potential spouse hates going overseas, some tension will arise.
6.) Marriage is not for everybody.
I have talked with young men and women that are so concerned with finding a spouse. It consumes them. And most of the pressure comes from…US. The church. Once a person reaches mid-twenties, we assume something is wrong with them if they have not married. They must have a terrible flaw.
“Bless your heart. You are almost 30 and not married? I know this must be hard!?”
Shame on us. I am worried many failed marriages are a result of people allowing the pressure of marriage to draw them into something God did not design them for.
7.) The wedding day is a lie…don’t buy it.
Many couples have bought the lie of the wedding day…it is all about me. But marriage is at odds with this mindset. A successful wedding day is one where everyone serves you. A successful marriage is one where you serve your spouse. The wedding day is a day where the spotlight is on you. Marriage has no spotlight. The wedding day is about saying a bunch of words that most couples never take seriously. Marriage is about putting the words into action. The wedding day is joyous and celebratory. Many seasons of marriage are about persevering and not letting go through the storms.
Embrace your wedding day. Prepare for it. Celebrate it. But do not make the mistake of believing the lie. After your 20 minutes of fame, the spotlight is gone forever. It is no longer about you (and this is a good thing…you will see).
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Those are snippets from the article – to read it in its entirety, click here.
What do you think? Anything resonate with you? Married folks, any truths you want to add? Share in the comments section below.
